Reflecting back on 2014...

I know for me & many I know...seeing 2014 go seems to be a well-needed time! I'm not sad to see it be done, that's for sure. ;) That's not to say it's been horrible, but there has been a lot of junk that I'm thankful is over. I pray every year for a theme from God for me & my family...2014's was "Beyond our limits". I tried to convince myself that would be for the good...great things beyond what our limited minds could even think up, but deep down I knew God was preparing my heart for a rocky year.

I've truly felt I was moved beyond my limits...& even though that really stunk having to go through, I'm thankful for it. God  used so much this year to grow me further than I ever thought was possible. I've learned through the hard stuff...the dark valleys that seem darker than any other before...the moments I'd rather hide out & sleep it all away is when Jesus shines brightest. I can trust Him through it all due to seeing how He's NEVER let me down in anything I've went through. He's always got me through everything...most every time better than I could've done by myself! I look back & see how God was my everything when I felt I had nothing. I see where He held me when I felt lonely...ever so lonely. I see where He was teaching me about His love & sinking that into my heart (which is a game-changer, by the way!). I see where He was showing me even deeper levels of loving others...amidst every human reason to justify not loving! I see where He was bringing back to life the Jennifer that got lost amidst life struggles...the one I missed greatly & yet didn't even know anymore. He helped me understand literally how He can calm ME in the storm rather than calming the storm. I see how He helped me truly understand forgiveness & how important it is to continually forgive rather than letting unforgiveness harbor anger & resentment...which leads to bitterness. God definitely pushed me past the limits I had set for myself...& now I can say I'm thankful. He used everything for my good...just as His word promises me. :)

As you look back on your year...whether thankful it's over or praising God because it happened...

• Where has God been most real to you?
• Where did He show up the most?
• What did you learn through that time/situation?
• How is He now more real to you because of having gone through that time?

2015 will be here in just a few days...how can we apply what we've learned this year to the new year? I've had a stirring in my soul regarding 2015...that it's gonna blow me away with how good it will be! :) Very exciting times! It's one of those moments you're almost afraid to blink due to possibly missing something! Haha Let's prepare for the best...even with a reality that it could be totally different than our idea of best...yet also holding onto the hope that Jesus lives & because of that, this new year could be spectacular! :)

Job grieved...THEN thanked God.

I was reading a blog post of Ann Voskamp's about "How The Brave Deal With Losses." She mentioned Job & how much he lost...yet the first words from his mouth were thanksgiving to the Lord. This man finds out within minutes that he's lost EVERYTHING...livestock, kids, etc. Yet thanks God a moment after. Wow! God even states through His word that Job never sinned even with the words he spoke. Holy cow! Honestly, I'm only up to chapter 3 as I'm trying to sink in everything God is showing me through Job's life & how it can relate to my life in all the broken pieces right now.

What do you do when life seems too much? What do you do when you feel weary & seems you can't make it the next step let alone the next few hours before blessed bedtime?? What do you do when you feel there is no hope anymore...that things won't get better & it's time to give it up? How do you handle those moments where you can say, "It's been one thing after another lately!"??

I'm in that moment now. I've heard myself saying that very thing a few different times. I feel like that weary soldier...afraid to take off the armor & rest b/c "they might come back" or "I need to stay suited up" or "It's not ok for me to not handle everything & be almost perfect at it." :( Not easy to be real, but that's the hard truth. There is a lot of brokenness right now in my life...& I'm now learning by God's grace that that's ok. :)

You see, God wants you to hand Him all those broken pieces & say "Here...I trust You to make it all beautiful again because I can't. I don't know what to do...but You do so it's Yours." It's in that moment He can then mend brokenness so to shine Jesus through the cracks. ;) When I think I can keep it whole & I can work it out right, I end up blocking the light of Jesus for others to see...they can't see Him b/c I'm in the way. That's not the purpose of this life, right? I mean, we do have a role in this show...we do have to do our part, but that's just it. It's a part...not the whole play. I do my part & then let God do the rest.

Job did that. He did what he was to do in those moments...he was to the point of so much brokenness that all he could do was grieve & then thank God. Thank God for the time he did have with the kids & the stuff, but also reminded himself that God knows what He's doing. "The Lord gives & the Lord takes away." Notice he didn't stay in the pit...he didn't grieve forever. WHILE he was grieving, he thanked God for Who He is. Doing this got him through some great grief. Doing this kept him focused on The One in control of all things (read those first couple chapters where satan had to get permission from God...it's great!). Doing this kept him reminded that even though God allowed this great sadness & loss that He could very well give again.

How can you thank God today for the troubled seas? What is one good thing coming out of this dark valley that I can think on & find new everyday? How much more will our faith have grown as we come out of these darker days? Will you read Job with me & tell me your thoughts...your heart...your ah-ha moments as God shows you how much He wants to love you, especially through the really really tough stuff?? Praying this has encouraged you to continue the fight...even when it's as simple an act as being thankful for God knowing...God caring...God being willing...God being able. ;)

Verse Mapping (Heather Bleier)

In going through the Proverbs31 Online Bible Study, I learned of Verse Mapping. Basically, you ask God to lead you to a verse to study throughout the day/week/month/however long God keeps that verse in your mind & heart. Write it out on an index card. Read the verse, aloud if needed, & pay attention to each word/phrase that stands out to you. Circle/underline/star/highlight those word(s)/phrases. You then write the thoughts that come about that particular word. I include some of the definition(s) for the word as well. Once you've dug into all those words/phrases, write a simple prayer or thoughts to God on the back of the card.

Having done this for now 4 verses, it has caused me to get deeper than face value with God's Word. I ask more questions in how each verse relates to me or what God is trying to show me through focusing on that verse. :) AND, it helps with memorizing Scripture so to withstand the fiery darts from my enemy.

Here is an example from the last verse I just finished mapping out. This is actually the verse of the week for our Made To Crave Action Plan study. :) You want to know God's will for your life? Read & study in the depths this verse...

Front of index card -- Verse

Back of index card -- Prayer